Need help with glute activation

I really, really, really struggle with glue activation. To the point where I essentially feel close to zero activation in my glutes but always in my quads and hammies. I do reformers pilates (NOT classical Pilates but not Lagree either).

I only get quad and/or hammie activation when I do hip/glute bridges, kick backs, donkey kicks, fire hydrants, lunges (curtsy, ninety-ninety, arabesque), and only feel it in my lower back when I do exercises such as squats or side steps.

The only exercise I really ever feel glute activation is side lying or side lounging legs on a super light spring (I usually stick with orange which is the lightest on the reformer at my studio).

Not sure if it’s relevant but I have unbelievably tight hip flexors; they are always popping when I do any type of leg extension.

What am I doing wrong!?! My instructors insist that there are no problems with my form (and if there are, they correct my form on the spot) and that I need to rely on mind to muscle connection, but I don’t know how to do that because my glute muscles don’t exist.

I’m so unbelievably self conscious about my bum because it doesn’t exist; it sags and jiggles and is totally flat because I just have zero muscle activation in my glutes. It’s completely mismatched from the rest of my body which I’m really proud of thanks to the hard work I’ve put in with close to 3 years of Pilates. I look like I’ve got muscle atrophy in my glutes, that’s how bad it is.

I’m not looking to grow a huge bunda (I know I need to do heavy lifting for that), but I just need some sort of definition so that I know my glutes are working as they should when I work out.

Any tips or tricks to help activate my glutes would be highly appreciated. I just feel so lost, my instructors don’t even know how to help me.

submitted by /u/tashypooo
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